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Brii™ FTW
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« on: 12/16/07, 01:09 AM »

I work online. I deal alot with myspace and part of my job involves actually talking to people and getting to know them fairly well.

Lately, I'll talk to guys in comments and messages for about a week. They seem like they would make great friends. I'll talk with them on the phone about common interest, politics, and normal first time on the phone conversations. Within a week, they claim to be in love with me. Right now I have 5 guys who want to pack up everything and move to Florida knowing I have a boyfriend. Normally,  I have no trouble knocking down a guys manhood to get him to leave me alone, but these guys all have pity me stories and make me feel like shit to be mean to them.

How can I put these guys down without hurting them and making them explode like the ticking time bombs that they are?
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ian
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« Reply #1 on: 12/16/07, 01:55 AM »

hmmm, this seems to be a very open ended question because each case is unique in its own way.

I'll try to answer it in the most general way possible, however I do have one question.  What is it that you do online that entails you becoming so friendly with these people? 

My thoughts are that perhaps you get in contact with these guys and they misunderstand your reaching out to them in a business sense, as you reaching out to them in an emotional/sexual way.  The first thing that comes to mind is that these guys are insecure with themselves and are looking for someone to understand them and that is why they offer to move to Florida.  At the same time they could also be complete nut jobs and you'll want to avoid that situation completely. 

I also don't really understand what you meant by "knocking down a guys manhood" however if your goal is to have them leave you alone why not just block them?  You could also say that your boyfriend saw their messages and is getting pissed so you can't really talk to them anymore.  At the same time that also leads me to question why you got in touch with them in the first place.

To be honest, I think I need more details on the situation to give a more in depth and accurate answer.
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Brii™ FTW
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« Reply #2 on: 12/16/07, 02:13 AM »

I do a lot of social networking. I have to have a very close knit friend group in different places for promotion. I have learned the easiest way to do this is if I take time to get to know each person individually. Some of them seem pretty cool and we become real friends. So, I text, call, and IM with them, strictly as friends. I make this point very clear.

by knocking down a guys manhood I mean taking the emotistical part of their brain that is telling them that I want more than a friendship with them and flush it down the toilet.

Basically, These guys are nice guys. I know they are great people (or I wouldnt have started talking to them) and I dont want to lose all contact.

The guys that I am referring to have actually gotten me a lot of money for promoting. They have made sure the concerts played in their area were sold out. I almost need them now. lolz
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ian
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« Reply #3 on: 12/16/07, 04:11 AM »

I'll be honest, it kind of sounds like you are using these guys. dontknow

Hopefully thats not the case and these guys get something in return for helping you promote these bands. 

I'm a bit confused now as to what you are actually asking.  You said you didn't have any problem "knocking down a guys manhood" but you feel bad because they all have a depressing story.  If this is the case I don't think you really need to make them feel bad about themselves, but rather just make sure they understand that the relationship you have with them isn't personal, its just business.  Also bear in mind that when you establish these relationships you don't lead them on, or flirt with them in a way that makes them think otherwise.

I think it goes without saying that if a guy has interest in you he will go out of his way to help you (promote your band, etc.)  Just make sure you aren't taking advantage of this.
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Chris
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« Reply #4 on: 12/17/07, 03:42 AM »

I feel like you need to be honest with these guys, which it seems that you are doing, by reminding them that this is only a friendship that developed out of a business relationship and nothing more. Just make it clear to them that if they are unable to handle this type of relationship that you can't talk to them anymore. I could see how a guy could get attached and once they do it can become very hard for them to break this attachment.
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